And if he doesn't, he bloody needs one.
Because when his nephew was celebrating his first birthday, this Nashville uncle put his body on the line to avert disaster.
During the ceremonial "baby mashes cake into face" photo op, the cake took a tumble.
The entire confection was falling to the dirt, which would have rendered it inedible.
But this uncle wasn't about to let a good cake go to waste, not on his watch.
Something inside him stirred, and he did something truly incredible.
With a heroic dive, he managed to save the culturally significant dessert from the clutches of doom.
No longer was he just an uncle, but he was a legend.